on losing and leaving

Though this week appeared to be very arduous for me, I can say that it has been a gratifying week as well. I've accomplished a lot of things at work. I've never felt this functional for a long time, lol.

I'm about to lose another person again. A very special person whose been there for me through the years. He decided to leave the country early early (did I say early?) next year and honestly I don't know what I'll do without him. Just the thought of him not being there in times that I need someone to talk to is very heartbreaking. I can never imagine not having someone who's as patient as he is with my obstinate self.

I can't force him to stay, for him its the right thing to do. He's really a go-getter, he knows what he wants and he knows what to do about it. And I admire him for that, I don't have the same courage that he has.

At ikaw, Kung hindi ka magpapapigil, ito lang ang masasabi ko: Pasalubong ko ha? =p alam mo naman kung ano favorites ko. Saka pala *ubo* size 8 *ubo* =p. Always call, text, be online and don't you ever forget me. Coz if you do, huh!........Iiyak ako =(

Update about my post a few weeks ago:

I decided not to push through with my plans of leaving, it's not yet definite though. I just decided not to, for now. My friend is already asking me about the medical check up and application form that she handed to me a few weeks ago, honestly I haven't written a single word on it (Haven't even read it). I suddenly had a lot excuses to tell.

I remember telling my mom about leaving, and she jokingly answered me with "wag ka na umalis, malulungkot ako pag ikaw ang umalis". It struck me again, serious family talks like that really makes me teary eyed. It may sound as a joke but I know my mom, I know that she means it.

Come to think of it, She is one of the only reason why I am in two minds about leaving. After my dad died exactly 4 years 8 months and 13 days ago, I promised myself that I'll never leave my mom whatever happens. I saw how affected she was and I can never let her feel like that again. I know, I can't control everything but I think that she needs me us more right now. She's not ready yet. I can tell.